This past week I have been reading about the National Day of Silence. The more I learn how Christians are responding to this day, the more my heart sinks in despair. The National Day of Silence “brings attention to anti-LGBT name-calling, bullying and harassment in schools.” As someone who was scared to death to tell anyone, particularly a Christian, about my same-gender attractions, I empathize with the fear many LGBT students feel. I understand what it feels like to be trapped in silence, never being fully known—because if people really knew me they would hate me. Gay jokes and insults convinced me of that.
One would think Christians would be the first to respond with kindness and support for kids navigating the confusing world of sexuality. Yet instead of seeing the Day of Silence as an opportunity to befriend gay youth, conservative Christians launched an all-out attack. The Religious Right coached parents to protest by keeping kids home from school, and conservative leaders labeled the day a “scam,” a “propaganda blitz,” and “pro-homosexual indoctrination.” Pastor Ken Hutcherson of Antioch Bible Church in Washington even placed a full-page ad in the local paper calling for 1,000 prayer warriors to descend in protest on Mt. Si High School.
On Friday, approximately 100 people took Hutcherson up on his suggestion. Some protesters held signs that said, among other things, “Silence for Unnatural Behavior? Not ME.” I kept picturing a 15 year old gay kid walking past those protesters and absorbing that message. The very thought brought me to tears. I wanted to fly to Washington, put my arms around those youth, and shield them from these misguided adults. What makes this protest even more tragic is that Hutcherson, by his own admission, instigated the protest as “pay back.” He had been invited to the school as a speaker for Martin Luther King Day, but was upset when a gay-affirming audience member challenged him on his commitment to equality. In an audio interview on the website for Concerned Women for America, Hutcherson said regarding the school, “You guys are going to pay for this . . . You tried to embarrass me, but what you did was embarrass my daughter [a student at Mt. Si]. Now you got a serious problem with a dad.” The host, Matt Barber, then joked about Hutcherson’s presumed prowess as a former football player.
Focus on the Family’s Tom Minnery congratulated Hutcherson on his actions saying, “It takes courage to stand against the harm of the homosexual lifestyle, and we applaud Dr. Hutcherson as he stands against the nonsense underway at Mt. Si High School” (emphasis added). Nonsense? Is that what Focus on the Family has to say about name-calling, bullying and harassment of gay youth? Ironically, Focus on the Family’s Love Won Out speakers often emphasize how damaging and confusing it is when kids are bullied and labeled “dyke,” “fag,” “sissy,” or “queer.” Being alienated by classmates as youngsters is a common theme in many ex-gay testimonies. Yet, I have not seen one compassionate interview or article from the Religious Right discussing the validity of the National Day of Silence. None of the commentaries even acknowledge the gay youth themselves. It’s as if they don’t exist.
The Religious Right wants to portray the Day of Silence as a product of militant gay activists (the day was actually created in 1996 by students at the University of Virginia). It wants to give the impression of “the noble stand for truth.” But, truth only has meaning when it is used for its intended purpose. Truth is for the benefit of another—not to prove how brave or unashamed we are of our convictions. Its purpose is to bless, liberate and heal. Truth by itself has no value. As Paul said, “If I have . . . all knowledge . . . but have not love, I am nothing” (I Cor. 13:2). And that is what I see in the conservative Christian response to the Day of Silence—a lot of “knowledge” about what is “right,” but very little love.
The Religious Right is legitimately concerned about morality. But, then so were the Pharisees. The Pharisees were, in fact, right about the wrong behavior of sinners. They knew God didn’t like sin, and they made sure everyone knew it. In contrast, Jesus didn’t orchestrate protests against sinners. When Jesus encountered the “openly tax-collecting” Zacchaeus, he didn’t wave a protest sign at him, he said, “I must stay at your house today” (Luke 19;5). Jesus made himself a guest of the chief tax collector. He made himself welcome in the homes of sinners and ate with them. If Jesus had been at Mt. Si High School, he wouldn’t have been standing with the protesters. He would have been sitting in the quad with gay youth, eating his lunch and chatting with them. He would have known their names, their hopes, dreams and struggles.
Do certain gay organizations exploit the Day of Silence for their own political purposes? Certainly. But, then so does the Religious Right. Ultimately, I am not interested in the propaganda of either side. I’m concerned about the youth who are affected by same-gender attraction. As a Christian, it is my moral obligation to stand against the name-calling, bullying and harassment of gay youth. So, yesterday, I stopped by the Day of Silence exhibit students had set up in the quad at the university where I work. They taped a bright florescent pink band around my arm that read “Silenced.” I wore it for the rest of the day, explaining its significance when co-workers asked. The students also prompted me to write my thoughts on a wooden figure being used to capture various sentiments. I wrote: “Love Never Fails. I Corinthians 13. For all those who have ever been told they are unlovable because they are gay, I stand in silence with you.”
13 Comments
April 26, 2008 at 5:51 pm
Karen – Allow me to point you to a small but different Christian response – http://www.goldenrulepledge.com
April 26, 2008 at 11:14 pm
I loved this post. I, too, observed this day with silence. Although I am a straight sinner, I love the gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgendered sinners for whom Christ died. The oppression they live under is wrong because it creates a false sense of guilt that masks the very real guilt we all have before a holy God.
Thank you for offering your perspective.
April 27, 2008 at 9:02 am
As long as homosexuality is something seen as something that is “fixable”, “curable”, “preventable” by most Christians — then any “unstraight” person will be seen as willfully promoting a “lifestyle”.
Why is this so hard to understand: that this is the *real* reason for gay hate: that gay people *choose* to remain in their orientations and should be treated accordingly? And that they (many of them) don’t look, sound, or think like others according to the straight Christian world view — too butch or sissified?
April 27, 2008 at 10:08 am
Sadly, Exodus International has joined the rest of conservative Christianity by promoting only the alternatives and dismissing the Day of Silence as a propaganda tool of gay activists. They miss a wonderful opportunity to declare one belief they supposedly have in common with gay activists: hatred of GLBT persons is wrong.
April 28, 2008 at 3:44 am
The Day of Silence has been used to call christian youth awho disagree hatemongers. So I think this is what most groups are reacting to. There are many chirtsian youth who are silent for fear of being called hateful. If the Day of Silence is not about silencing an alternative opinon then I amokay with it. The problem is when students decide to in respect hold a counter rally to say we love you but that homosexuality is not in youre best interest. Some would call such a group a hate group..I do not.
April 28, 2008 at 6:18 am
I agree that it’s a propaganda tool, but as always, it’s arisen partly because of the Christian community’s neglect of same-sex issues. Proper evangelization of the kind you speak of – with love and empathy, yet principled – would have made the propaganda less effective, to say nothing of the more important point of expressing love.
goldenrulepledge.com seems to be doing exactly this.
As an Orthodox Christian, I do worry about focusing on people’s identities – any identity – rather than their humanness. In this day and age, it seems as though one is forced to communicate in these terms; or one must work hard to avoid it. But here’s one way – at a personal level:
A priest once told about a man who came to see him about becoming Orthodox. The priest said, “Okay, we’ll need to discuss who Christ is, the Church, the Sacraments ….” The man interrupted him saying, “I’m gay.” The priest said, “Okay. But if you want to become Orthodox, we’ll need to discuss who Christ is, the Church, the Sacraments ….” “Dang it! Didn’t you hear me? I said, I’m gay!” “I heard you,” said the priest, “but if you want to become Orthodox, we’ll need to talk about who Christ is, the Church, the Sacraments ….” Crying, the man told the priest that other pastors had either told him it didn’t matter, or to get out! It took the man a couple years to become Orthodox, but another 10 years to become celibate. He claims he could never have made it without the benefit of Christ, the Church, and the Sacraments.
April 28, 2008 at 7:53 am
I appreciate hearing everyone’s thoughts. Its definitely a challenge to know how to balance grace and truth sometimes. I still wrestle with what that should look like on a practical level. For example, I also believe there is something so good and meaningful about God’s design for sexuality, male and female. Something that is meant to bless us. So, I desire for this good design to be upheld because God’s ways are meant to bless and bring us well-being.
But, what I see in the Religious Right is not a desire to bless and bring well-being. I do not see in them a weeping over the pain and confusion of people caught in sin. There is not empathy, but coldness. A desire to win an argument, rather than touch people’s lives. In Scripture the most common emotion attributed to the Pharisees is anger. And, that is what I commonly see in the Religious Right too. Anger posing as righteousness.
Whatever associations various groups and people might make about the Day of Silence–I simply take it for its straight forward mission statement–to “bring attention to anti-LGBT name-calling, bullying and harassment in schools.” That is something any Christian should be able to support.
And, I agree that the Golden Rule Pledge is a good start. Though, I have concerns about Christians setting up “counter” efforts. But, if the Golden Rule Pledge can go beyond passing out cards to actually demonstrating in tangible ways–love, and if it can build bridges to sit down and eat with gay youth as Jesus would have done–then I think it is a wonderful thing.
April 28, 2008 at 3:27 pm
[...] far, only one ex-gay advocate (out of hundreds affiliated in some fashion with Exodus) has spoken out clearly in opposition to [...]
May 1, 2008 at 6:42 am
As a straight conservative Christian who wants to support my GLBT brothers and sisters, but allowed many Days of Silence to slip by me unnoticed:
“Behold, I am of small account; what shall I answer you? I lay my hand on my mouth.
I have spoken once, and I will not answer;
twice, but I will proceed no further….”
“I had heard of you by the hearing of the ear, but now my eye sees you;
therefore I despise myself, and repent in dust and ashes.”
Job 40:4-5; 42:5-6 (ESV)
May the Lord bless you.
August 11, 2008 at 12:01 pm
[...] of re-act? It would involve putting down the picket signs and engaging in conversation. Instead of protesting high school students on the Day of Silence, why not spend time with these youth? Did you know that, contrary to many [...]
March 12, 2009 at 3:59 pm
[...] The gay community was particularly concerned about speaker Scott Lively, who has been described as a “Nazi revisionist” for his book The Pink Swastika. I knew nothing about Lively so I checked the web to read articles and statements he has written. Lively appears to be an ultra-conservative who falls into the same group as Americans for Truth, Concerned Women for America, Family Research Council, and Mission: America. He promotes the view that a sinister gay agenda will destroy civilization as we know it if it is not stopped. According to his booklet, Seven Steps to Recruit-Proof Your Child, he believes gays are trying to seduce children, and that we are not far from Greco-Roman days when pederasts roamed the streets to molest children on their way to school. He also promotes the view that homosexuality is absolutely acquired with no biological underpinnings. He is vested in denying any possible genetic contributors because if homosexuality is acquired, then it can be stopped. Lively even goes so far as to blame gays for the Nazi holocaust. In the preface of the 4th edition of The Pink Swastika, he demonizes homosexuals as the “true inventors of Nazism and the guiding force behind Nazi atrocities.” Like most ultra-conservatives, he believes in fighting gay activists via such methods as exemplified by his friend Ken Hutcherson who picketed high school students on the Day of Silence. [...]
April 4, 2009 at 11:32 am
[...] year, I expressed deep dismay over right-wing Christian protests of Day of Silence, including grown men and women picketing [...]
April 27, 2009 at 5:00 pm
[...] in Day of Silence at UC Santa [...]