A few years ago, a friend of mine who is a well-known leader in the emerging church movement told me that many evangelical leaders are quietly questioning their traditional stance on homosexuality. These leaders are open to a gay affirming position, but have kept quiet for fear of alienating their congregations. However, now evangelical leaders—and not just in emerging circles—are testing the waters more publicly. Last year Tony Jones of Emergent gave a nod to the gay affirming position on his blog. Likewise, Brian McLaren, though often ambiguous, has encouraged churches to be agnostic if not affirming. And next weekend, Highlands Church, in Denver, Colorado will be hosting “The Evangelical Church and Homosexuality,” a symposium featuring gay-affirming speakers Justin Lee and Mark Achtemeier.
Lee is the founder of Gay Christian Network and Achtemeier is professor of theology and ethics at Dubuque Theological Seminary. Both men have a unique ability to speak to evangelicals due to their own religious backgrounds. They understand evangelical culture and they know how to appeal to the way evangelicals think. This will likely make them persuasive in shifting more conservative churches to consider a gay-affirming position on homosexuality. In a recent address, Achtemeier recounted how he came to support gay marriage and ordination. His views are well worth exploring to examine how and why some conservatives might come to a gay affirming position. Below are quotes from his address (the subheadings are mine) with a few of my own comments:
1. Forming real friendships with gay people challenged stereotypes:
“. . .opportunity opened up for serious conversation and friendship with some quite remarkable gay Christians. This was new for me. When you are a firebrand exclusivist, hurling thunderbolts and belching fire against the opposition, gay people with any sense tend to avoid your company, or at least they avoid telling you they are gay. As a result, what I knew about LGBT people was pretty much defined by the authors I agreed with, and flamboyant stereotypes presented in the media.”
“Like so many traditionalists, I was accustomed to thinking of homosexuality as a kind of destructive addiction, a disordered inclination toward damaging behaviors that was comparable in some respects to alcoholism . . . I also assumed that a gay lifestyle must certainly involve a fairly casual attitude toward scriptural authority and an inclination toward personal self-indulgence.”
“I was expecting to find self-indulgent individuals, who were inclined to elevate their own personal gratification above any serious wrestling with Christian discipleship. My prejudices could not have been more mistaken. What I found instead were devoted Christian believers, filled with grace and a loving concern for the downtrodden that frequently put me to shame.”
My response: I have said before on this blog that the religious Right often shoots itself in the foot because of the gay stereotypes they foster. I believe the ex-gay movement has also contributed to this problem with its template testimony of “I had a bad childhood and that’s why I am gay” or “My gay life was horrible and promiscuous.” If that is the only story people hear about homosexuality and they later meet a healthy, well-adjusted gay Christian, it really challenges one’s presuppositions. When conservative propaganda does not match up with the real life gay people folks encounter, it is easy to see why some, like Achtemeier, begin to question their beliefs.
2. It is possible to be gay affirming and still uphold Scripture:
“I hold firmly to the reformation principle that Scripture alone is the highest authority for the church. I further believe that experience is often an unreliable guide to truth, being the product of a nature that is corrupted by sin and self-interest. . . But struggling with this, I came to realize that this important affirmation does not exhaust what needs to be said about the way the Bible and our everyday experience interact with one another. Let me illustrate what I found with a little piece of humor that Saint Augustine threw into an Easter evening sermon he preached in 407 A.D. The joke comes in the course of comments on 1 John 2:6, where it says that those who abide in Christ “ought to walk in the same way he walked. “ Well what does this mean, to walk in the same way that Jesus walked, asks Augustine? Jesus walked on water! So surely walking in the same way he walked means we should walk on water, too. Doesn’t that make sense? We chuckle at this. But why do we immediately recognize this as a joke? It’s not like Augustine’s suggestion isn’t biblical, after all . . . So why don’t we fasten on these stories when we hear John telling us to walk in the same way Jesus walked? The short answer is, this particular way of interpreting the Bible contradicts our experience.”
My Response: Achtemeier did not have a chance to go into his re-interpretation of Scripture during his address. Thus, I cannot comment on his approach. However, I don’t believe his example of Jesus walking on water is a good analogy when it comes to homosexuality. If I read him right, he is basically saying that because it may be impossible for a gay person to go straight, then we should not force the issue. I agree we should not try to force sexual orientation change, but lack of change in sexual orientation does not, then, demand a gay affirming stance. There are many conditions and temptations that are unchangeable, but we don’t consider them God-blessed simply because they are immutable.
3. If gay Christians who try to live celibate lives become suicidal or depressed, this is an indicator that we are trying to push something that is not of God. God’s ways are always life-giving.
“If you can get an alcoholic to stop drinking, you expect that person’s life to get better. Addiction to drink is morally, physically and spiritually destructive; So putting away the bottle leads to human flourishing. Indeed, it’s not unusual to hear people saying “I got my life back” when they talk about recovering from a destructive addiction. If homosexuality is a destructive compulsion like alcoholism, one would surely expect to hear similar sorts of testimonies about it. However much of a struggle abstinence might be, embracing it ought to be life-giving. But I began to encounter testimonies that showed a very different pattern . . . I remember one very devout individual who came to me wanting to talk . . . After years of courageous prayer and struggle, doing exactly what the church and I myself would have counseled, the result was a broken spirit, overwhelmed by despair and anger, ready to renounce the faith and give up on God, seriously contemplating suicide . . . When this person encountered a different understanding of the Bible’s counsel, re-opened to the possibility of finding love as part of a life-journey, and found fellowship in a supportive community of dedicated Christians, the results were simply breathtaking. I saw this person blossom, the waves of depression rolled back, and a vibrant, joyful Christian faith re-emerged. None of this made any sense whatsoever if homosexuality was a destructive compulsion like alcoholism.”
My Response: My understanding of what Achtemeier is saying here is that Scripture points us to what is life-giving, and if gay Christians who have tried to live an obedient, Christian life (by abstaining) end up worse off than before, then something is wrong. I have to agree with him that something is wrong. Though, I am not sure I would come to the same conclusion he has. The recent post, What if You Don’t Change, touches on this. In my own observations, I have seen many reasons why trying to live a single celibate life leads to more despair including: 1) the person is living a closeted life in fear of anyone finding out they are gay 2) a person is focused on trying to change their sexual orientation and despair results when change does not occur 3) there are unresolved feelings of worthlessness; the sexual attractions make a person feel they are sinful and unloved by God 4) rejection from friends or family if one discloses. These are all common reasons for despair that do not have to lead us to conclude homosexuality should be affirmed. I also experienced that despair, but when I came out of the closet, stopped fixating on trying to change my sexual orientation, and realized how much God loves me whether or I am gay or straight, I found much relief. I also have many wonderful people in my life who are not gay affirming, but love me no matter what. All these positive things occurred without me (or my friends) having to affirm homosexuality. The fallacy is in believing that one has to be affirming in order to resolve these other issues. Once these other issues are resolved, the only real remaining challenge is single, celibacy, something I do not think has to lead to despair.
4. Those who are trying to live celibate lives came out of destructive pasts. These individuals confused the dysfunction they experienced (drug addiction, etc) with homosexuality itself. The drug addiction was the problem, not the same-gender relationship.
“Now I would be less than honest if I did not mention the stories that run counter to this pattern I have been describing. I sat in committees at the 2006 and 2008 General Assemblies and listened to testimonies, organized by our friends at One by One, from individuals who had found it healing to move out of a gay lifestyle. I sat there listening to these stories, pondering what to make of them, and suddenly it occurred to me that nearly all of them involved moving away from situations involving either promiscuity or abuse. Not a one of these testimonies told a story of being involved in a loving and healthy same-gender partnership, which the person then decided to leave as an expression of Christian commitment. I realized that these testimonies actually served to confirm what I had been thinking. Of course promiscuous, exploitative or abusive sexual expressions were destructive and unhealthy, and these testimonies I had heard followed exactly the patterns the Bible would lead us to expect: Turning away from sinful patterns of exploitative, abusive and promiscuous behavior led to life and flourishing in the lives of these people.
My Response: This view has also been popularized by the movie Save Me. Many individuals in the ex-gay movement have come out of promiscuity, drug addiction and abusive pasts. However, it seems this template has also been exaggerated because it is the paradigm the ex-gay movement and the reparative therapy movement have created: “If you are gay, it must be rooted in dysfunction.” The fact of the matter is not all people who leave homosexuality do so because of a miserable life of dysfunction. On this point, Achtemeier is simply uninformed. However, I don’t blame him for his ignorance since voices that say otherwise are drowned out by religious Right and ex-gay stereotypes. For the record, I was never promiscuous, never abused drugs, and was not sexually abused. I did not stop being in lesbian relationships because I was miserable. I stopped because the Spirit convicted me of sin. I recently posted a video of three gay people who also testified to leaving homosexuality for spiritual reasons and not necessarily due to abuse or other dysfunction.
(Note: I testified at the PC USA General Assembly hearing in 2008 with OnebyOne and thus, Achtemeier did hear a testimony from someone who did not describe a dysfunctional past. In fact, I purposely wrote my testimony to highlight that. You can see the text of it here).
5. The Bible says “it is not good for a person to be alone” (Genesis 2). We are designed to be in relationship. Lifelong celibacy is not healthy or realistic.
“It turned out that there was another biblical understanding readily available in Genesis 2. You remember how God creates the world in six days and declares all of it “very good.” But there is one aspect of the original creation that God declares “not good.” In Genesis 2:18 God says, “It is not good that the human being should be alone; I will make a helper corresponding to him.” Genesis describes God’s creation of human beings for intimate fellowship with another person. This is not a choice that we can simply reverse or undo. It is deeply inscribed in our nature as human beings. The amazing thing about understanding homosexuality in this new way was that suddenly everything I had been seeing made perfect biblical sense. There turned out to be a substantial theological literature describing how spiritually and psychologically damaging it is to deny that aspect of our nature that is described in Genesis 2. I am referring of course, to the Reformation critiques of mandatory celibacy . . . Using Calvin’s terminology, marriage is the help God has provided for dealing with the necessities he has implanted in human nature. Marriage is given to us, not just in a form that responds to our need, but in a way that is positively sanctifying and life-giving and permeated by grace. If, as Calvin insists, it is foolish and rash for individuals to turn their backs on this divine gift and calling, how much more so when an entire church acts to withhold this gift from an entire class of human beings!
My Response: I agree with Achtemeier that we are naturally designed to couple with another person in marriage. But, is an inability to marry or have sex truly that catastrophic? Is celibacy impossible? Does it cause psychological and spiritual harm? What about those who are forced into single, celibacy because they are unattractive or have a severe disability? What about those who endure single, celibacy because they cannot find a suitable mate? Are these individuals doomed to a neurotic life? This sounds a bit too much like the message I have heard from the conservative church that expects everyone to marry and if one doesn’t there is something unhealthy and mentally deficient about that person. I also question whether deep, intimate love can only be found in marriage. Achtemeier sounds like those in the gay community who say you are doomed to a miserable, lonely life without marriage. Certainly, single celibacy is no walk in the park, but does not life have greater meaning beyond marriage? I would argue that the problem is not with single, celibacy, it is in the ways we respond and cope with it. Life has far greater purpose for us as believers than whether or not we marry. There are many people who have used their single celibacy to serve God—for some it was chosen, for others not. I think of Amy Carmichael, Bruce Olson, John Stott and Henri Nouwen, just to name a few.
We need a little perspective here. Single, celibacy is hard. But, it’s not the hardest thing a person has to endure. There are many others who face a much harder lot in life. I have my health, my family and friends, a good vocation and a roof over my head. My life is meaningful and rich. Not everyone is so fortunate. Some people are starving to death; some live with crippling illness or chronic pain; others are subjected to the ravages of war or poverty. There are even those who suffer in lonely marriages, having discovered that marriage is not always what we idealize it to be. God never promised us that life would be easy or fair. But, he does promise us that we can trust him even when life is difficult. In our pampered American existence, I am afraid we have forgotten what it means to be a disciple of Christ.
Your thoughts?
